Ever since I can remember, I asked myself wonderous questions and mulled over life. I wanted to know how people lived in other parts of the world, what they ate, and what their homes looked like. I was curious about differences, precocious in the learning of foreign languages, ethical codes, cultural norms, foodways, and customs. I understood that, although people in other parts of the world looked and acted differently than I, we all still shared the same basic needs. I needed shelter, food, and protection, and they did, too; I sought happiness, validation, and human connections, and they did, too.
Growing up in a household that encouraged independent thinking allowed my inquisitive nature to flourish, and when the time came to choose how to navigate adulthood, I knew that a corporate career would have starved my soul. Notwithstanding my suspicion that career success, in the traditional sense that the western world ascribes to the term, wasn’t going to cut it for me, I still pursued it. I thought that, if I fit in the conformity box, I would have magically been happy.
I wasn’t
Years later, I gathered up my courage and pushed myself out of the corporate America grind. This move afforded me, once again, the rare privilege of pursuing my interests and lead the semblance of the life I had been wanted for myself, though my vision changes every day (what can I say, I’m a Gemini rising through and through). Finding happiness and fulfillment is hard work, work in progress might I add, but it always is.
Happiness and personal fulfillment are ephemeral by nature, and that’s why they are such rare commodities. Capitalism tries to sell them to you, but (guess what?) they aren’t up for sale. If you are told otherwise, do not believe your ears – It’s a lie.
For decades, I have been traveling to experience the world first-hand and learn from personal involvement, rather than through a vicarious life settled in the comfort of familiarity. Yet, the more I ingest of the world, the more I crave. I lean into the thrill of the unknown, the sensation of pushing my fears to their limit, feeling the butterflies in my stomach, seeing things on the edge of my own and known reality, teetering between realism and fantasy. Is this real life, or is it fantasy…
When you travel often, uncomfortable realities become normalcies. Then, you want more.
I travel often these days to document interesting places through my camera lens. I think about what I see, and produce mindful images and literature, mostly for myself, because the creative process has become an indiscernible part of who I am, but also to bring a piece of what’s out there to people who can’t travel or need encouragement to do it.
I Sought Discomfort
The far reaches of the Nordics, the hot sands of the Tunisian desert, the jungles of Central America, the busy streets of a megalopolis, the Andean peaks… the list goes on. These experiences have intensified my adaptability skills and prepared for what’s to come next. By choosing challenging destinations, I have been testing the waters, dabbling my toes into defiant sensory journeys through places that were highly foreign to me, pushing my physical and mental endurance.
Without a shadow of a doubt, I now feel from deep within that I am, finally, ready for the one trip that I’ve been putting off for what feels like a lifetime, continuously thinking that I wasn’t ready for it. But am I, truly?
… (And, it turn out that I still think I’m not)
I’ll never be ready for this experience to tell you the complete truth. This journey is one that must not be conquered but rather surrendered to.
I am packing my camera gear, my Nikons dismembered and parceled into pieces, scattered untidily all over the rug next to me, as I sit at my desktop to write this log.
A thirty-year wait, thinking, rethinking, asking, assessing, reassessing, and now I’ve concluded that I’ll never be ready. Any day is as good as any, so I’m going. I am heading off to Tibet, the roof of the world, the one place that has been beckoning me as far back as I can recall. The one place that I fear the consequences of experiencing, because it may unravel me and weave me into a new being. Profoundly spiritual and different from anything else on this earth, Tibet is the beating heart of a people that have been egregiously bleeding out for ages, for one reason or another. Yet, the heart is still thudding, and I’m going to hear its drumming.
Yours truly,
G.
